The Fruit War

5:25 (5 minutes before dinner begins)

 

"There are APPLES tonight!"
"NO WAY"

"How many are there?"
"Should we go sneak some now?"

"Nah there will be enough"

"Yeah right....remember that night we had oranges...naked girl snatched them all!"

10 minutes later....

"THEY'RE GONE!....Who the hell took that many apples?!"

....and then the rumors fly..."I heard we ran out of apples until San Diego!"

 

This is the dialogue that begins almost every meal. Fruit has turned into a drug. Who can get the most, the fastest, and by talking to which waiter can they sneak us more. We literally turn into savages as soon as the trays hiding the fruit from our reach, are taken down and the fruits are subjected to the hungry hands grabbing and snatching at the fruit as if they'll never have another apple again.We glare at each other as we make eye-contact with an aquaintance who has turned into an enemy in the battle for fruit. Little kids are shoved out of the way as the college students lunge for the bowl and pile their arms high with apples, oranges, grapes, peaches and bananas. You would think they were giving away free beer. The waiters yell out to "use the tongs." But we don't care about sanitation. It's nothing but hands dodging in and out of that fruit bowl as quickly as possible.

 

Just two nights ago, it was as if I was watching an animal stalking it's prey. We were sitting at dinner having a nice conversation, when out of the corner of her eye, Kerry spotted the goods.

"They're putting out more oranges!!!!!"

And within seconds I saw her practically climb across the table and sprint across the dining hall as she met one of the waiters at the fruit bowl, who was coming from the complete opposite side of the room where the kitchen is situated. She came back smiling as though she'd won the lottery, with an orange for each of us, plus one to hoard in her room's fridge for a future snack.

 

Sometimes before dinner, when we're feeling really ballsy, we have a lookout and a snatcher. One person makes sure the waiters, students, faculty or staff aren't in sight, while the snatcher reaches around the tray blocking the fruit and grabs as much fruit as quickly as possible and then runs back to the table and puts them into backpacks to distribute to our friends during dinner.

 

It's crazy to witness but so much fun to be a part of at the same time. Everyone knows that there is a war for fruit and it's just a matter of who can move the quickest in order to get your hands on a delicious apple.

 

A little tip: forget the tongs.